Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Halloween: an experience of innocence

A friend and I took our children out for a quick stint of trick-or-treating tonight. Her son was bundled and energetic, dressed as an alligator. I dressed my daughter as an angel complete with a glittering halo and wide, toothy grin.

We began our trek by stopping across the street. The kids held out their bags, cheerfully yelled "trick or treat!", and smiled up at us as candy slid into their bags. Once we were back onto the street and walking toward the next house, my daughter said "that was fun, ma! thank you!" It was obvious she thought we were finished with our adventure and was more than excited to head home with her candy and call it a night. When I explained that we planned to visit a few more houses to get MORE candy, her eyes grew wide and she asked " we get to do it again?!"

In that moment, I experienced childlike innocence and enthusiasm enough to bring tears to my eyes. We grow to expect over and above what we need the older we get. I love the simplicity and generosity of that moment with my daughter.

Holding in my center, all that is dear

This space is about my journey toward depth and integration as a wife and mother of two. Before marriage and motherhood, I felt content in my times alone and experienced fulfillment and a great deal of peace in my spirituality and practice of prayer. In many senses, I was alone and able to control a lot of what occured in my day and my sense of peace was immaturely based on a solitary experience of reality.

The topsy-turvy whirlwind of creating my own family and nurturing my marriage has challenged my previously centered self. My days have often felt off- balance and overloaded.

So, in creating this blog, my hope is to flesh out my thoughts regarding my experience as wife and mother, learning as I go and offering whatever wisdom I've encountered along the way. Many of my close friends are beginning this journey alongside me. Some have crossed through to the otherside and are generous with their encouragement and matured strength and sense of peace. And others are navigating and preparing for the journey to begin. I have been blessed to walk this portion of the way with them. It is in these relationships and shared yearnings that I have neared a place of contentment and peace once again.

As always, I enjoy dialogue and hope this becomes a comfortable nook where honest thoughts can settle and expand and further enlighten our (extra) ordinary days as women in this era.