Saturday, September 29, 2007

One Tough Mother

These little people in my house are hard to be tough with sometimes. But they know those moments when mama ain't got no backbone. And they wiggle right into those moments with the strongest wills they can muster. They find the Achille's heal with swiftness and precision. Do you relate to this at all?

That's why I was inspired by a session at the MOPS convention lead by Julie Barnhill, the author of ONE TOUGH MOTHER.

Just for the record, Julie Barnhill is hilarious. I was laughing so hard my side ached. She is "raucous and refreshingly real and relevant" and honest about the challenges of being a mother.In her talk, she outlined ten non-negotiables for how to stand firm and be the mom with confidence, love and firmness.

1) Be the boss without apology.*Do not delegate, abdicate or relegate your responsibilities as mom. Be consistent, firm and fair. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

2)Delight in your perfectly ordinary child. *Don't give into the stress to always have an extraordinary child. Delight in the ordinary moments. Don't pressure your child toward unattainable ideals.

3)Stop tinkering with the inane.* Decide on what really matters. Focus on TO BE rather than TO DO.

4) Say no like you mean it.* "I understand you would like that, but no.""Thank you for asking, but the final answer is no."

5) Get a hobby other than your children.

6) Love them like crazy. (truly, madly, deeply)* Develop a family "always". For example: "Our family always shares with one another."

7) Remember that it is all worth it.

8) Leave nothing unspoken.* "I am so glad I had you." "I will always be your mom."

9) Face your own Giants.* Step up and own it when they've been wronged. Step up and own it when they are wrong.

10) Never give up.* You are only a failure if you give up forever. :)


AIMEE said...

great reminders!!!

churchmouse said...

This is the kind of thing I'll need on my wall, to check in with now and again. What a good balance of taking no guff and laying down thick layers of lovin'!

L.L. Barkat said...

Sometimes I think we don't delight in the perfect ordinariness of our children because we don't delight in our own perfect ordinariness. And in so doing, we miss the simple opportunities of a regular day.

Mama Monk said...

So, true. So much of how we parent reflects how we love and "parent" or nurture oursleves.